The return of the setback

I don't wanne run away but i can take it , i don't understand. What have i done? What did i do wrongly? I have really done my best , really ! Its ok .. i will wait . I guess all i had was just false hope. I've asked for it , people tell me in my face . True true , i am stupid enought to ask for it . I was just trying to do what i think was right. At certain points i really feel like giving up. I'm pretty exhausted right now . I hope i still can last.

Why am i doing this ? Cause i feel that i find you special. I really wanne hold and feel your touch .To me now all i can feel is rain inside me . A one hundred tonne of weights is pushing down my heart , it hurts . Well sometimes i hope i can be invisble . So i can just follow y ou quietly , making sure you are safe . Or i can be just like a shadow , always there for you but you will never notice me.

I am in no position anyway , i hate forcing people to do things. I only hope that i am have that fair chance . Once is enough . Its true i will not be giving up so soon , but once i feel that we are turning cold to one another , don't worry , cause i will back out .

Is there anyway that i can make this thing work? I really wish for some answers. Searching them myself is hard , i make mistakes . This is not good at all.

Well , i have no idea what am i suppose to do now ... i hope one day , i will get the answers.
For now , i will just go missing for a while in her life ... till i find the right time to be back.

Maybe i will find a gun , load it , cork it , and pull it for now...

Lone